WOULD YOU BUY THIS BOOK?

Good ad lib, Bad ad lib

(Why romantic relationships never work out...

And how to change that to your advantage)

By Tshwarelo eseng Mogakane

One day, when I am no longer confused, I hope to finish writing this book above. I have started it but do not hope to publish it anytime soon. It's about how when two people meet they do so with a pre-written script of how the other person should be and how the relationship should flow. This is a mentally powered script that stems from the bottomless rivers of fantasy. It is a script that I personally carry in my head with me everywhere I go, every woman I look at. They just have to fit the script or else, they are fired. This is the same script that the women in my life have carried, and somehow I never made a good actor, and as a result my job was advertised. I bet if you are male, yours has been advertised as frequently. And if you are female, you have constantly been casting for the perfect guy, who usually fumbles his lines. It's just a matter of going against the script, either because it was badly written or because it is too fictional to be performed live. It needs some super-movie technicians who can fake scenes and use doubles while they at it.

I don't know what your script is like. However, I am sure not many people have been able to play the character well. If they don't fumble the lines, they ad lib (improvise). Now improvising is not that bad, it depends on whether it adds some life to the story or straight fucks it up. Now writers are people of ego. Given the chance they would publicly crucify anyone who'd dare fuck up their lines because they are so dear to them. I am a writer, I should know. Writers don't write precious lines on their blogs because they are reserving them for that good book or poem to be performed at the world premier. The same with the love script, to which we are all authors. None of us wants anybody fumbling their lines and acting ridiculously. But we have room for that person who can do a Good Ad Lib. Anybody with the talent to improvise scores points with us, all of us, don't be a hypocrite now! We all like it to see someone going beyond our expectation. Men like it when the woman in their script asks them to “come in” when he was only hoping to get a kiss on the cheek, according to his well-crafted script. Women like it when we bring flowers while they were just expecting us to show up with a handsome smile. They like the extra massage when they only expected straight-forward foreplay, as according to their romantic script. (But of course their script always has a massage in almost every scene, including a fountain and some other things that we men never bother to find out about). They like to hear the words “thank you” even when they've done nothing that big, like make you tea when you would love a damn cold beer after a long fucking day. They like to hear the words “you're beautiful” even when you think the opposite about the dress they are wearing. So there are good ad libbers, and bad ad libbers. Which one are you? I definitely know I'm a damn bad ad libber; I always fumble my lines. Will I ever get it right? I think I will someday, God willing, of course he's willing.

What I have learned while writing this book is that one needs to NEED to make women feel happy for him to be able to be a good actor. Not that I can't please women myself, I just don't see the NEED. Maybe I'm too full of myself, that's not too bad though. For men who feel like they need to get those beautiful women in their arms (sheets, script!), you must therefore NEED to make her feel happy at all costs, even kiss ass (you'd love that won't cha?). When you feel the NEED you will have the WILL to sweep her off her feet. The only sweeping I've done is: “out of my space”, Lord forgive me I don't know why.

Hey, admit it guys, it's a nice post this one-ha.